I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
