Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
