sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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