I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize