We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
