so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
