At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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