my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
