And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
