O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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