went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Text me some of your sweat
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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