Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize