Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
