He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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