it was like his penis was on wheels.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
