Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
