Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
