He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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