I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
