piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
