Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
