Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
