What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize