the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
