Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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