btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
