Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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