i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
