$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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