Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
