So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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