spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize