I am puke
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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