Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Let's get the cat blown out
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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