I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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