Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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