Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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