i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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