Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
