i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
