There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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