somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
