If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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