I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
