super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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