Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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