I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
