My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
