No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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