R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
