1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
