I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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