you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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