I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
