Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
