At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
