drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
