Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
