she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
