If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
