Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
false alarm. still invincible.
please come you make the beer taste better
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize