oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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