Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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