This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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