i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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