Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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